This is outside my comfort zone to share. But I have been inspired by others and have had lots of friends ask me what is the difference this time. So here goes.
Six months ago I was invited to join a weight loss challenge. My initial thought was an immediate NO! I mean I have struggled with my weight for 20 years. Medicine and health conditions have made it worse. I have four amazing kids that my body literally grew and developed but that took its toll. My body has allowed me to serve and give and learn and teach and live but it was wearing out. I know that I am loved and that my Heavenly Father has a divine purpose for me and for each of us. I had already decided that I didn’t want to value myself based on the physical state of my body but I also knew that the state of my physical body literally added value to my life, not by what it looks like but what it allows me to do or not do. So when my doctor said my body was shutting down on me and gave me a prognosis that made me talk in months and years instead of decades I knew I literally had nothing to lose and time with my family to gain. So I decided to try.
I looked at the rules and saw that most I was already doing. I don’t drink soda. I drink lots of water although I drink in irregular patterns. But there were a couple that piqued my interest. My goal was never weight loss. I simply started with a question- what if not eating after 8:00 is the piece I’ve been missing? How would my body respond? I believe we are the experts on our own bodies if we are honest and really listen. So I signed up for 10 weeks of no eating after 8:00. The other piece I decided to try was sweets only once a week. Sugar in my food I didn’t worry about. When I felt like snacking I just opted for salty snacks. I started going to bed earlier- I think I was eating to stay awake frequently. Slowly but surely the weight began to fall off. I found that I needed to designate my treat day as a specific day otherwise I chose too many cheat days. 🤷♀️
The first two weeks were hardest. Then I noticed I was feeling better. My bad days weren’t quite so bad and were less frequent. I was vomiting less frequently (an almost daily occurrence with my illness). I had a little more energy on good days. Mostly I could tell my body wasn’t working so hard just to survive.
I had a friend who was on her own journey and was inspired to help others. One day her challenge was very simple but included the message “Take care of you. You are worth it.” It struck a chord and it no longer seemed a punishment or chore but a privilege to take care of myself. When I had bad days I told myself, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t very kind. I’ll treat you better tomorrow.” And I did. And an amazing thing happened. As I was more gentle and loving to myself I was more gentle and loving with others. I didn’t expect perfection and I focused on treating myself right by making healthy choices. I determined that if I was treating my body right that my body would settle into its own healthy weight and whether I lost 2 lb or 40 lb I could be at peace knowing I was treating myself well.
I didn’t take away my favorite treats but I found a proper place for them- once a week seemed to work well for me. I made sure I always had something healthy that I liked on the table along with our favorite meals I already made. I didn’t count carbs or proteins or anything else but I did record but not limit what I ate and it’s calories so I could be smarter. After round one I had lost 23 lb. The day after it ended I realized I had no desire to stop my new patterns and just kept going. I joined another. This time I decided to focus on 30 minutes a day of exercise but I changed it to fun activity. Many of my friends love all kinds of exercise but my body doesn’t so I looked at my days and decided to not sit down during recess with my preschoolers or to take a walk with my husband or by myself. I could play just dance with my girls or even take a few extra laps around the grocery store with my cart. I parked at the far end of the lots and told myself “look at you getting those extra steps!”. Whatever it was I knew I had to fit it in with what I already do and that started working too.
My husband was incredibly supportive but in his own way. He didn’t stop drinking soda and snacking but he didn’t offer it to me and he started buying me clothes the next size down when my clothes were too big. ( I know what you are thinking but he is an amazing shopper and if I ever look properly put together the odds are very high he chose it!) I had a wonderful group of supportive friends in a group who were encouraging and helped with accountability but for me being accountable to myself was my biggest change. My weight is still dropping and wherever it settles I will be content.
And six months later I don’t know what the rheumatologist will say at my next visit but I am feeling content knowing I’m doing my part to treat myself right. So to all of you out there who are frustrated, and tired and feel like quitting listen up. You are amazing! You have managed to use that body you have to do every good thing you’ve ever done. That’s worth celebrating by taking care of yourself. You deserve gentleness and care. You deserve healthy food that fuels you. You are the expert on your own body and if you really listen you will know what makes you feel good (and not just in the next 5 minutes). You will play around with your eating times, amounts, find the times to make movement fun and learn to love yourself. Start by looking in the mirror and taking credit for all you are and do just as you are. And then say what if.....and choose one thing to bless yourself by changing. Because what if today is the first day of that one thing that changes it all for you? And if you need a friend to encourage you, know that I am here and will be cheering for you!
