Sometimes You Don't Have to Be First To Win

In this world winning is often perceived as everything.  We work hard to come in first and anything else is often wrought with disappointment.  But sometimes we forget that you don't have to come in first to win.  I'm not talking about participation trophies for everyone who shows up- I actually believe that awards should be earned.  I am talking about the rightful celebration of personal victories and overcoming obstacles and our own limitations.  I am talking about the importance of recognizing our own contests in reaching new heights and winning small battles.

My daughter was born at 24 weeks gestation and has therefore spent much of her life fighting for something that I take completely for granted - the ability to breathe.  

Oxygen is not a given for her and after years of doctors appointments, hospitalizations and diagnoses we know that her lungs still aren't perfect. Compared to the kidney bean size they started at covered in scar tissue this girl has come a long way, but she still faces many limitations that frustrate her.  

She has an amazing attitude and has worked hard to overcome the difficulties she faces and has been inspirational to many. We are incredibly grateful for the medical progress and technologies which have literally kept her life going so many times.  

Breathing emergencies are among the most helpless, difficult moments for us as parents.  Nothing is as hard as wanting to literally give your child your own air and being completely powerless to do it.  Like so many parts of parenting, its simply out of our hands.  So when I went to her first cross-country race this year I was filled with trepidation.  Could she complete it?  Would we have to call for help or carry her off the course?  Were we right to encourage her to do this?  I knew she wouldn't place well but would that matter to her?  She was crossing into uncharted territory.  We encouraged her to go out for the team because we want her to try new, hard things, but somehow watching her fight her way through that first race I found myself fighting my own emotional battle on the sidelines.  I fought back tears and held my own breath, watching the physical struggle unfold on her face.  No matter how many racers were ahead of her I knew that every yard and every breath were a victory.  With each pounding step I felt the shackles of what she couldn't do being broken.  Other racers began to funnel through the chute and I waited.  They became fewer and farther between and still I waited.  Fear began to creep into my heart and then suddenly there she was rounding the last bend with a heaving chest and fierce determination.  And I knew with every tear sliding down my cheek that you don't have to be first to be a winner.  Because as she crossed that finish line her 55th place was definitely a win - and it was one that took this Mama's breath away!